Sand

...I haven't posted anything in a while now.
There's been so much going on that I just got to the stage of doing nothing - because doing anything made me angry or upset.
Can't handle much at the moment.. feels stupid aye.
I have an ear infection and a fever - seems I'm managing to keep up my streak of being sick for the year too.
Friends seem to disappear by the day too... I feel like they are just falling through my fingers like sand and disappearing, even though they're still there... they just don't really feel like it.
I have no idea what to say except that I'm miserable and I don't care about anything at the moment... whatever I seem to put my heart into seems to become impossible to do or get near... so maybe I just need to stop and walk away.. let myself be the sand that's just falling through their fingers.