Flat (or, My Wall.)

It's all flat. Calm as the sea after a huge storm... so flat you can see your own reflection like a perfect mirrored image. The wall stands firm and I lay flat... floating as an autumn leaf might - gently from the tree. I'm leaving home behind, in a mental sense, as I have been over the months, and finally I think I'm getting there... to the point that I can stand. To the point where I look down and see, that the ocean roaring around me - is not a storm, but silent and calm; and I am in control. But outside that wall that I have built is all those storms in one, and I know one day that my calm will break... and I could drown in all those memories. They are not forgotten as I stare out and remember them sometimes... occasionally I poke a hole in the wall, and let some pain back in. It's just to remind me not to fall. My wall is around me, it's clear and it's strong. It's all my strength - built from all those I love and nothing else. Sometimes people tear my wall apart... my bubble of protection. They catch me off guard in the blind spot I always miss - and one day that might even be my downfall... but today? Today, is flat. My boat stands still and I am quiet as I absorb in the little peace of mind I have managed to find today.